Her Voice Unlocked

Would you like your story to remain anonymous?*

Yes

How do you want your name listed?*

How did you meet your abuser?

What were your initial thoughts about him?

How did your friends and family feel about him?

What was the timeline of your friendship to dating and then eventual marriage?

Did you have pre-marriage counseling?

Yes

Do you feel it adequately addressed areas that eventually became toxic?

Was there an honest discussion about pornography during pre-marriage counseling?

How soon after you married did you notice a change in your relationship?

What changes did you notice?

Did you know that you were in an abusive marriage?

Yes

How long did it take before you realized you were?

What eventually cleared the clouds of confusion and gave you clarity that your marriage was, in fact, abusive?

In hindsight, were there any red flags?

Yes

What were they?

What are some examples of covert narcissistic abuse you experienced?

What would happen if you tried to communicate your feelings or set healthy boundaries with your abuser?

Did you and your abuser attend pastoral or secular counseling together?

Yes

How did that help or hurt you?

How do you think others outside of your relationship viewed your marriage?

Are still currently married to your abuser?

Yes

What is the biggest hindrance to you leaving?

What do you wish people understood about why you can’t “just leave?”

Did the abuse escalate post-separation?

Yes

What are some things you experienced?

How long did it take to finalize your divorce?

Did your abuser refuse to divorce or use power plays like refusing to sign divorce papers, stalling the process unnecessarily, or not hiring a lawyer to force the cost of divorce onto you?

Did you ever file for a Protective Order of Abuse through your county?

Yes

Was it helpful? How long did it protect you?

What stopped you if you could not file for a Protective Order of Abuse, or why did the county reject your claim?

What would you say to your younger self if you could return in time?

What is essential for friends or family to know about narcissistic abuse?

What advice would you give a woman still in an abusive marriage?

What advice would you give to a concerned family or friend of a woman in an abusive marriage?

How has this experience affected you?

What has helped you on your healing journey?

Do you have any helpful resources or counselors you recommend to other victims of narcissistic abuse?

Please note: If you would like your story shared publicly, please attach a clear photo of your face and a brief bio, including what you do for a living, any accomplishments, or even fun facts. The goal of this is not only to share who you are but to counter the stereotypical idea of who a victim of abuse is and drive home the fact that it can happen to anyone.

Upload your photo

Max. file size: 8 MB.

Please include a 5-6 sentence bio

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I understand that parts of my story may be edited for grammar or shortened to space constraints.

I understand that every story may not be published, but Esther Company will try to include as many as possible as time and space allow.

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Your story is essential. Your voice deserves to be heard.